Moments Musicaux

Baby J's arrival has prompted much more self reflection. Last week I watched the documentary/movie  'Mrs. Carey's Concert'  . It follows the journey of Karen Carey, a music director at an exclusive private girls school in Sydney, as she prepares her students for a biennial  classical music concert at the Sydney Opera House. It triggered a series of fond memories from my high school days and reminded me how important music has been in my upbringing. The endless after school rehearsals, the monotony of solo practice, the thrill of performing in front of an appreciating crowd and the camaraderie developed between players.

Karen Carey's enthusiasm and love of music reminded me of the many music teachers who have inspired and encouraged me as a child. The most influential of those teachers though, would have to be my parents. My mother sat with me for hours at the piano encouraging me through the Suzuki piano series and if it weren't for her dedication and perseverance, there is no way I would have been able to continue on to a standard that allows me to enjoy it as much as I do.  In a recent interview by Margaret Throsby on ABC classic FM, Carey expressed the importance of music education and her beliefs that all children should have access to it. It is a belief that I fully subscribe to. Music has enriched my life in so many ways and has also has helped me learn key life skills. It made me think about how to bring more music into baby J's life. I have been so lucky to have had the opportunity to play in orchestras, various chamber groups and explore many different types of music. Sure, the monotonous and tedious task of daily practice was a chore and required a lot of active encouragement and sometimes almost force on the part of my parents, but now I am so so grateful to them for pushing me along.  Hopefully I can bring the same balance of gentle encouragement and discipline to my own son!

In another moment of musical reflection, hubby and I went to listen to Melbourne Symphony Orchestra last week. Sol Gabetta, an Argentinian cellist performed the Elgar Cello Concerto. I love this concerto, there is an intensity and lyricism that is so beautiful. Some of the melodic passages were truly haunting. Again, reminded me about the power of live music and how we must make more of an effort to get along to some more concerts in the coming months.

Baking bread and writing blogs!

I am not sure what has suddenly possessed me to start writing a blog. I am not a writer, and although I love reading other people's blogs, I have never really felt any urge to put my own thoughts in writing. I don't for a minute kid myself to think that anyone would actually be interested to read about my life but somehow I feel like I would like to start putting some of my random chaotic thoughts down on paper! Perhaps it is the sleep deprivation? Maybe the hormones? Or possibly I am not used to having a baby (gorgeous though I think he is) as my main companion with whom I converse. Whatever it is, I found myself up at 2am this morning anticipating the waking up of my baby boy (which incidentally didn't happen) scribbling some ideas down about what I would like to write about.

Since baby J's arrival our lives have been turned upside down. Everything revolves around feeding, burping, nappy changes and deciphering the meaning of different cries. When I am rational, I know that the extremes of emotions I feel have been experienced by every mother before me and somehow we will get through this testing period. Simultaneously, I feel like no one could possibly understand how I am feeling. The constant barrage of questions and conversations in my head is driving me crazy.

Strict routines vs  no routine
Cloth nappies vs disposables
Breast vs bottle

I have conversations with myself. "Is he developing appropriately? Oh no, he has very poor head control compared to X , better get on with more tummy time training. But didn't I say I am never going to be  a pushy mother and compare him to others, he will develop at his own pace. Won't he?"
And so it goes on and on.

I am really enjoying motherhood, though I am finding it an amazing challenge and  by no means easy. Pre baby I would have classified myself as an intelligent, independent working professional. I would read the evidence and come to my own conclusions about 'stuff'. Now post baby, I feel like I can't even string coherent sentences together let alone work out what should be 'normal'. Lately I preface each sentence about baby J's development with 'Well, the baby book says......' . My hubby finds this a constant source of laughter. Anyway I digress. As part of this whole change in 'lifestyle', I am finding my interest in cooking, gardening, (for which I previously have had very little enthusiasm) and crafts suddenly evolving.  I found myself today looking at beautiful cotton prints wishing I had the ability to sew something for baby J. Even hubby is pursuing new hobbies. This week after tasting some home made bread made by my mum, despite not being much of a cook he decided it would be wonderful for us to bake our own bread too. Armed with a book lent to us by my mum; "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois" he set about with determined gusto to bake his first crusty white bread loaf!


This morning I awoke not to a crying baby, but a fervent puppy dog (aka hubby) who dragged me upstairs to see and taste his beautifully baked bread. His enthusiasm and satisfaction from the process has spurred me on to explore all those things I always think about but never have time for. I don't know how much I will be able to achieve on my bucket list but at least starting a blog and making homemade bread (by proxy) have been ticked off!